Tag Archives: social work

Monday

Hi Monday, how are you?  I scheduled the day off today from working at the hospital as part of my self care plan and somehow a cold decided to follow me.  It has been trying to make friends for a couple of weeks and Friday finally got ahold of me.  I’ve been going through a lot so I’ve actually been surprised it hadn’t caught up to me sooner.  So what did I do today?  I slept in.  I played with my dogs outside and enjoyed watching them watch the squirrels scamper up the trees.  I came back inside and did laundry and dishes and then decided to rest again.  Then I decided to go drop some donations off and would see where the drive would take me before my acupuncture appointment.  I had a great lunch watching people and looking at the gorgeous fall colors.  Enjoyed some sushi and thought of the family I used to nanny in Pittsburgh because that’s where I first tried and fell in love with sushi.  And I listened to one of them most fascinating conversations, likely fascinating because by the looks of these two men I never would have guess the words that would fall out of their mouths.  They talked of transference, addiction, and being addicted to the unhealthy mindset.  Right up this counselor’s alley.  And I looked around me and imagined all the lives and hearts of those around me, not really knowing anyone and yet totally comfortable with this fact.

So Monday, thank you for helping take care of me.  I’m watching, I’m listening.

Love these Fall days.

Love these Fall days.

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Re-entry

Yesterday I started back to work.  By midday I was conflicted because I was so enjoying the training but I was also feeling extreme fatigue from the lack of sleeping the night before.  I was starting to feel a little sick to my stomach and as the afternoon progressed I realized I had some control over what was next.  Decided to cancel my teeth cleaning, that just was not important today.  Visited one of my dearest friends and saw a couple other colleagues, got hugs and empathy.  And headed home for a much needed nap.

Woke up refreshed and ready for my first private practice session since 10/10/15, the day after I found out my Uncle was admitted on hospice.  By evening I felt strong.  I took another hour nap and then was able to write like I’d wanted to write the last couple of days.  Not to say I haven’t been writing but I’m trying to document my last hours with Uncle Hal and from that come up with a message for Sunday, titled Living Between Life and Death.  I’m happy to see my subconscious has been doing a lot of this writing and I got into the flow last night.

Today I am back at Riverbend Hospital and on the floor with my MSW student.  To think, I was a brand new MSW student in October 2010.  We also have a site visit with the field liaison today.  I also have one private practice client after work at the hospital.  This morning I must draw strength from within.  It is going to be okay.  I am going to be okay.

Heron Park in Springfield, Oregon

Heron Park in Springfield, Oregon


The Journey

alley

There is an alley much like this in the same neighborhood at Hal & Gayle’s previous home (of 35 years) on C Street in Springfield, Oregon.  It parallels Hal’s shop, which was lit up by an arsonist once upon a time.  Today was full of writing, reflection, introspection, and a sense that the journey I have been on is going to change courses.  I cannot tell you how it will change at this point except that I am sure of it.  There’s this term called post traumatic growth that I came upon in graduate school.  It touches on the growth of a person that can occur after trauma/loss.  What I’m seeing is a gift Uncle Hal has left me.  The gift is revealing itself slowly and as long as I stay open, I believe the doors will continue to open in ways I had never imagined.


Waves of Grief

Just when I start feeling stronger, heart full, mind clear…something hits me again.  Stomach hurts, head hurts…I sit, meditate, or try to catch up on some much needed sleep.  Yesterday I plunked on the piano for the first time in….who knows how long.  Trying to find some music for a tribute I’m working on for next weekend.  Shall I call it the pre-memorial?  I’m not sure but something was telling me I needed to tell my story of my final hours with Uncle Hal.  And there’s probably some other messages weaved in there that I’m only just now unearthing.

One thing I’ve let go this year is my photoblog ritual.  Perhaps I’ll be re-committing to this again.  In any case here are a some photos from before Uncle Hal died. Oh and part of today’s horoscope:  Relax your resistance and trust your intuition to teach you how to navigate the murky waters of your heart.

10/11/15: The Violin owned by Word Girl (Amelia) or Wonder Woman (Alice) my Star Gazer Star Dancers

10/11/15: The Violin owned by Word Girl (Amelia) or Wonder Woman (Alice) my Star Gazer Star Dancers

10/13/15: Entry to Uncle Hal's Office, I say goodbye

10/13/15: Entry to Uncle Hal’s Office, I say goodbye

10/12/15: The Hunt, trying to find His Story to read and print for his boys

10/12/15: The Hunt, trying to find His Story to read and print for his boys

Uncle's Organization: Wishing I had a wall for a chalkboard like this!

Uncle’s Organization: Wishing I had a wall for a chalkboard like this!

One of his beloved bike bags: Where is he going now?

One of his beloved bike bags: Where is he going now?


Smokey Oregon

We’ve had our share of forest fires this summer with this beautiful dry Oregon sun. Have been covering the social worker at the Oregon Rehabilitation Center this week. Today I got to park on the very top of the parking structure where I took this image. Unfortunately my Pentax K-x is still in the shop, will have to pick it up this weekend. Photo taken with my Canon PowerShot A590.IMG_0038