Be Still, My Soul

Rose Marie’s meditation today at the Eugene Mennonite Church, “Where life and death collide,” spoke of the intricacies of facing life and death as one – rather than separated.  Today’s photo honors the life of Connie Burden – a wondrous singer, pianist, teacher, mentor, mother, family member to many who knew her.  Preparing for the photo, one hymnal was already open to “Great God, we sing” and as I opened the red hymnal, “Be Still, My Soul” settled.   With Sue’s lilies on Connie’s stool – we face the music (in more ways than one).  The loss of life, ritual, music and the continuance of new life, different music, and a new rhythm will come about. We each remember and grieve in our own way, yet together.

Pieces of You

There are those special people in your life that have existed as long as you remember, who have flowed in and out along your life path. SarahLyn was one of those people. I can hear her laughing now, with that twinkle in her eye. She was my favorite person to sing with in the church choir growing up (because no one else in my family sang alto- and she was funny as heck causing my dad all kinds of grief as the choir director); and if she was in a play with my parents I knew we’d be laughing (they could be funny; or making a mess of things).  I later would find myself co-managing a shelter for homeless families and adults with mental illness, something she had done years before. One of the best things she did for me was take me out to lunch once a month-ish for a period of time when my work life and personal life seemed much the same (crisis and chaos). I had added her to a team of people I called my support care team and when times were tough those few years I would start calling them. She provided me with the listening ear, the laughter, and could really meet me where I was (often saying, I remember doing something very similar). Most of all, she genuinely loved me. I was heart broken to find out she had pancreatic cancer and then amazed to hear her journey through cancer treatment. During that same season I found out about her, my cousin Akin was also diagnosed with a re-occurring brain tumor. We lost him first, this February I like to think she joined him.

One of the other many gifts of SarahLyn was her creative and artistic self. I’m comforted knowing I can still find her along my life journey and thank her for always loving me.

Painting by SarahLyn

Burnt Out Social Work Month

Honestly, this is the most burnt out I’ve felt in a while. I’ve noticed I’m unbelievably tired, my body aches, and muscles have been tense. I’m very aware, it is a season of grief and loss….and with that growth and renewal.

This week I was honored to be interviewed by an undergraduate student who is taking a class from one of my favorite Chatham University professors, Dr. Deborah Rubin (man I miss Pittsburgh!). What was awesome is that I really needed to sit down and write about why I became a social worker. I used to push myself to do this at my last job at The Prevention Researcher, whose audience is primarily youth social work types.

I’ve LOVED school, absolutely loved learning and relearning and just soaking in the information.  What I haven’t loved about school is that I haven’t been a very good friend, my social life has suffered, and as I sit here one month away from my last final at the University of Southern California my list of what I still want to learn has grown threefold.  And then there’s the question of, what’s my next role, where do I fit in the world, and how to I refuel before my next endeavor?

Here’s more than you might have time to read, a snip-it from the interview with Hannah.  And Happy Social Worth Month -burnt out or not :)!

-Why did you become a social worker?

While I didn’t grow up knowing I was going to be a social worker I think that it was what I was meant to do.  I was blessed enough to have community surrounding me that accepted my family even when illnesses were taking their tolls, the hospital stays numerous and the pain on many levels very deep.  What I did learn from this was that I had a very unique experience that had been given to me – to become an “expert” of a most marginalized family – that helped shape my self-awareness, self-discipline, and hopefully a character with little preconceived notions or judgments about how things should really be.  I say this because had I not had an exceptional support system that could accept me and believe in me, despite the many flaws, pain, and misunderstandings that are involved with a family with severe and persistent mental illness – I very likely could have lead a very different life.

I attended Chatham University in 1997 hoping to complete my Masters in Physical Therapy.  However I found I was completely uninterested in Biology, math, and most of the science classes that I would need to complete this degree. During my first year writing seminar class I completed a service learning project at a local Ronald McDonald House and thought, I would love to run a program like this.  Looking at the other degree possibilities I decided to take a Social Welfare History class for a degree in Human Services Administration.  I was told that it was a junior level course and I had to get special permission to take this course as a sophomore.  What I found was that I fell in love with the history of social welfare (I had never particularly cared for history prior to this) and aced the course.  It was at the end of my sophomore year that I met Dr. Rubin who was trying to get the social work program at Chatham off the ground as they were phasing out the Human Services Administration major.  I came to find that the Social Work Code of Ethics, really spoke to me both personally and professionally tying in my personal, cultural, and spiritual values in a field of study that completely fascinated me.  I was sold, a social worker I would be.

-What are the rewards of social work as a profession?

Making the bond with individuals who may otherwise feel unloved, ostracized…undeserving.  Being able to join a profession that is committed to lifelong learning and undoubtedly fascinated by the pursuit to level the playing field.

-What are the challenges?

Self-care; empathy towards self; creating a community for yourself that is safe to connect with but also disconnect with when you are on what I call people overload.  Allowing time for own personal grief that often coincides with the grief that we can carry alongside our clients.

-What are your views on social work?

To me, social work at the core is very simple.  It is about being the most authentic champion of others, for the betterment of all.  It is about trying to be the best of ourselves, despite our faults, limitations, pains, concerns, frustrations and still putting ourselves out there doing what we do best.  Being passionate about people, in whatever form that takes.  It can sometimes feel like a lonely, frustrating trail, but what we come to see is what we do matters.  We won’t do it perfectly but we will do it with the best of intentions, particularly if we make the time to continue to push ourselves, to learn, be open and aware, and hold fast to what fills our cup at the end of the day (or week, or year).

-What’s you favorite part about your job?

The honor of being given the story of a life, and hopefully along the way helping clients meet their last wishes as they leave this life in the most dignified way possible.

P.s. I apologize for the lack of photo in the photoblog today.

Oregon Spring Starts

A busy last few weeks between school and projects have competed with time with my camera (two months exactly until graduation). Allergies in full force have not stopped me from enjoying the sun, flowers, and extra time outside with the dogs (not to mention today’s family fun bathing four dirt covered dogs!). Pictures today from our backyard’s Spring evidence.

Eyes Wide Open

I’m excited because this is the first time ever I have managed to get a photo of our cat Sensei with her eyes open.  Today I caught her hanging out in our project area, here’s her typical picture.

So I decided to turn off the flash and was able to get a photo with her eyes open. Next photo challenge will be to see if I can show you all how beautiful her blue eyes are!